~Manhattan belongs to me~

Tt ads realli gotten to me. haha.
someone told me yesterday that niceness isn't necessarily reciprocated
which means that people won't necessarily treat u nicely if u treat them nicely
now logically speaking that shouldn't be the case
but i guess its true larh.

*crumble*
there goes another pillar of my life.

~please... draw me a sheep...~
oww
i got headache
wah 5 days nvr blog liao...
den again what to do. father kpkb, dunwan give modem
ni nao hia
I tink i better not lim animore kopi liao
especially those ice-blended one. Evvtime drink liao sure kenna headache. and nausea
haiz
i better go get some sleep. let this stupid cs take forever to d/l

AIYOOH
i just lost 3 games of gb in a row
i dun plae first
nao hia.
i went rj open house today
see someone! hahaha. she damn dao siaz. haiz. nvr even come over and sae hello to us. too much arh.
neway i go eat
maybe i'll finish this post later. maybe not

~Give me a reason... if you love me then show me you care~

Mustn't feel.
I'm numbing myself again. Shelling my emotions up. I really shouldn't do this... everyone'll be gone. again.

again.

Oh well... there's still graduation dinner.
But it won't be the same...
Everyone will be gone. again.

What will i do? Lost again, noone to turn to.
argh.
mustn't feel. must not.

Like a scene in a movie
we once watched together
we walk towards each other
down a lonely corridor.

"thud thud"

Suddenly, I am
preoccupied with the crevices
creeping along the walls,
while you stare hurriedly
into your books

"thud thud thud"

Without glancing at the other
we quicken our pace
eager to shorten
this unwanted encounter.

"thud thud thud thud thud"

staring dead ahead
without so much as a "hello"
you
pass by
me

"thud"

Gone.

I'm playing gunbound now actually, but changwen's selling his phone downstairs, so i'm waiting for him. So since i had nothing to do i blogged lorh.
and my father's kaopehing me about using the com again so i'd better make this fast =P
My life seems to come in cycles.
4 year cycles at that.
(its the second time already)
Everything just disappears at the end, leaving me to start a new life.
Like a clean tablet.
only without much of a trace of what was written on it.
graduation's tmrw. that means next year will be different. new people, new faces.
new image?
i'd probably revamp my whole personality again.
then will my past catch up with me?
will i meet people, and will they tell others what i used to be like?
maybe. i hope i won't have to again.
it'll make me feel so... colourless.
to be able to change myself just like that. No identity.
Hmmm?

I just feel so hurt. Everyone's laughing, and he doesn't seem to care anymore. I'm nothing more than a fly buzzing around him, waiting to be shooed off now.
Its so different from last time.
Why? What have I done to deserve this from him?
He of all people should know that it hurts most when i'm ignored.
Am i just a stand in, a replacement, now to be shed off for his new friends?
Maybe i just shouldn't care.
Its his life. He has every right to do whatever he wants.
Its just that i feel so hurt, so rejected. Sad that i'm just nothing in his eyes.
Nothing.

~Put your hand in my hannndddd.... let me show you the way~


I felt like writing a poem
about you again.
Until i realised there was nothing
nothing to write.

You cannot be put in words,
Warm and cold,
Loving and cruel,
Gentle and harsh
inexplicable.

And so another futile effort
to explain you
fails.

You are a paradox
My paradox.