How does one tell what is true in a world where everything is kept under wraps. What do you really know, and how much of what you know is simply what others want you to know? I don't know. I'm just feeling a little hollow and tired. Wondering whats the point, since I don't really know where i'm stumbling to and what i'm achieving. All these viewpoints, all these perceptions, all these stands. How do you strike out on your own when you must concede to the infallible logic of others? And when impeccable logic collides, where will you be? Perhaps it is wiser to be stubborn and stick to one, blocking out all others regardless of whether you can identify with them or not. But if you can identify with it, you can never truly block it out can you?
So where do I stand? Individuals all think in different ways, I stand in different places, but the question is, where do I think I stand? And who am I to say, under the crushing pressure of everyone's hidden judgement. Overjudge yourself, and their concealed perception will think you arrogant. Underjudge yourself, and they gather that you are fishing for compliments. Both ways are fallacious. The real challenge is to know where you stand, not to sway to either extremes. But how does one pinpoint where. Is there even a precise point as to where? The line is blurred by the drawing of many.
I guess what they say is true. Its so hard to judge yourself. Or perhaps this is yet another case of being so open minded my brains have fallen out.

Haha. Just came back from PPP.
was. hmm. okay i suppose. but well. we all packed by 11.
Can't break the legacy sometimes.

heh thank god smriti gave me that last bowl man. otherwise damn stoned.
haha. had to sleep at mark's place cos. yeah. couldn't quite go home in this state.
Still am rather impaired. See length of sentences.

You know how phones sort out which words you use most often, and then let them be displayed first when there are a number of possible words for that number combination?

Well. Its a little sad and amusing.

When i press 766 while i'm messaging.
and the word that comes out isn't SON


but PON.

And now, to prove lijun's theory.

Let P be the statement:
Girl Yixun Fancies = Baby-face.

Prove P1 is true
LHS: Girl Yixun fancies = Mel Koh
RHS: Baby-face = Mel Koh

LHS = RHS, P1 is true.

Assume Pk is true, i.e. #k Girl Yixun Fancies = Baby-face
Want to prove tt Pk+1 is true, i.e.: #k+1 Girl Yixun fancies = baby-face

Sub 14 year old chiobu into Pk (refer to yixun's blog for proof)

Pk+1 = #k+1 Girl yixun fancies
= 14 year old girl yixun fancies + 1
= 15 year old girl yixun fancies
= Girl he thought was quite cute and interviewed him
= Baby-face (LHS = RHS, Pk+1 is true)

Thus by mathematical induction, girl yixun likes = baby-face.

By algebric manipulation, bringing "girl" and "likes" over, we get:
yixun = likes baby face girl

Recalling the definition:
likes baby girl = paedophile

Sub definition into (yixun = likes baby face girl)
yixun = paedohile face.

Ah well. Lysistrata's over.

Anyway, hope the audience liked it. Haha especially friday. Stupid skirt. But i think we put up a better performance on saturday, although it wouldn't have seemed that way at the start. But whatever.

Its kind of sad. That its over. I'm not very coherent today thus the short sentences. To think that all this started when smriti told me to audition saying "tim you're funny you can be yourself!". But anyway, really i'm happy that i've gotten a chance to act in the play, not just for the experience of acting, but for the people i've gotten to know. People like mike and ranon, like claudia and vaish. And the directors, kelly and vid and shirin. And of course those i already know like zhong, and hadri and smriti especially. haha thank god for hadri and smriti. they make dreary rehearsals so much more tolerable. But really, this is something i've never done before, and its really been a most enriching experience. yes i know that sounds awfully cliche, but like i said i'm not very coherent now.

Aha i liked the notes the directors gave us on saturday. maybe should give them smth back.

HMm. been busy with lysistrata lately. haven't had time to blog. let me recall briefly events.

Had my legs forcefully waxed. By changwen and yixun and matin. Horrible people i tell you, they pin my leg down in the canteen and proceed to just slap on wax strips like nobody's business liddat. So yes, if you notice i have one shiny leg when i'm wearing that pseudo-sarong-skirt-like thing for lysistrata, yah you'll know why.

Also, am about to get suspended probably. I don'tknow, i'm quite scared. 9 white slips, by the pupil handbook, is a suspension. Haha that ms koh finds it damn funny though. I told her i got 9 and she asks me if i've had "tea with the VP yet" and bursts out laughing. But anyway. I don't know if the school really is inhumane enough to suspend me for being LATE (which is where majority of my white slips come from, the bitch vyna doesn't appreciate my efforts to avoid the system and come after 8+ so as to elude the malay teacher taking down names of those who are late), but i really hope not. The system isn't perfect, its clear when someone gets suspended for being late that adhering religiously to it is simply not the way to go. Yeo recognized that if i'm not wrong.

Which reminds me that we must get yeochinghunn back. This vyna-mina-shit of a CT doesn't care about our class. What happens to our class is probably the last of her priorities, and as ajay eloquently puts it, she doesn't care what happens outside the 40 minute tutorial. In fact, even WITHIN the 40 minute tutorial she doesn't care, which is clearly seen in the way she always loses patience and throws tantrums when we fail to understand her somewhat incomprehensible and poorly delivered tutorial. The class is nothing more than a tool for her to manipulate and abuse so that the school will think she's doing a wonderful job as a white slip dispenser and is instilled with discipline and responsibility. Its really quite disgusting. That she would be so happy to send me to the VP, and so happy to sign more white slips when I come for her tutorial even though i could have skipped it, since i as marked absent. Its preposterous. Well, I wonder how her brain works anyway, having a student in her CT group suspended really isn't a good way to start off her term.

Veluri also showed us the university admission forms. Aha I think she's really good now. She teaches well, she clearly bothers enough to educate us on what teachers look out for in their recomendations, and she's quite funny and animated. Its silly of me to make a big hoo-haa over the moron thing. Its just her way after all, its part of her whole animated and comical character.

Anyway, the university admission forms basically say that you have to be perfect. Not only must you be enthusiastic and hardworking, you must also get along with your friends well, and be popular, and basically impossibly perfect. Heh and i don't think we can trust this vyna-thing to write these admissions. She'll probably think that she's showing such integrity and responsibility by under-grading all of us. Haha tiff was saying that we'll probably all get our "no-basis" boxes ticked anyway. Especially me since i don't come to class. hahaha.

My leg is damn sore and raw now.
Whatever hair i had on it has been reduced by half.

hahahaha.
Hadri i'll kill you.

Hahahaha
Today mark was sleeping on the couch at kitson's house. haha. then we took a marker and drew all over his face! hahahaha. kitson took a million and one photos, i'll post them up later when he gets them.

Anyway changed the music. Again. Jet's over-played.

Hello.
I am tired. Its 11:47PM and i'm typing out PW. I also have one compre (inclusive of APQ), one APQ on top of that, a little conclusion to add for my silas marner essay.

And thats just the homework i PLAN to do.

Which is probably why i'm blogging. Since i'm so freaking flustered (yay alliteration). Speaking of artsy-fartsy shit, come watch the RP production Lysistrata on next next friday! (that is not this friday, the friday next week). Its a play about women who decide to deprive their husbands of sex so as to coerce them into making peace so that they can finally satisfy their urges. Unfortunately, the women also encounter some difficulties, namely sex-starvation *gasp*! Who will last in this game of abstinence? FIND OUT on friday. Buy tickets from anyone in rp. Price currently undetermined but will probably be 6 dollars

My blog's turning more and more into commercial grounds.
Hmmpf. I should be paid for advertising here.

I'm sick again. Damned hammers in my head.
Had rehearsal today. Jireh is good lah. hah. you really see everything start to piece together and materialize when he's around. Hope he gets to our scene soon. Although acting in front of him must be unnerving. Really unnerving.
Anyway, i watched the village! which really isn't scary at all. in fact its quite nice at the end. when you figure out the little symbolisms and interesting cinematography. Like how the fear of red, being the colour of blood and guilt, signifies the elders' desire to retain innocence. Or at least thats what i think. good food for thought. Although my head was already pounding. Really didn't need all of that to worsen it.

Please let me help.
Its all i can do.

Haha. i heard this over the radio. and i nearly fell over laughing. might take a few minutes to load first though.
enjoy.

Ah shit the bazaar's finally over. haha this isn't good. we stand at a deficit of 1.5k. Which is quite a fuckload.
Anyway, i went back to ri. To watch dramafeste of course. haha mainly to watch hadri act lah. As Madam Kamariah. Haha it was damn funnie. Thank goodness i went. Otherwise i'd be wallowing in sorrow all day about the stinking money i am going to lose by september.
Oh yeah. gratz hadri. you were wonderful. stealing the limelight and all. and gratz hullett. and ajay's brother who is such an endearing little child.
I'm not going to go on a nostalgic rant about ri. Because really. Its all over. Times change, people change, now so must everything change.
But can't i keep a little at least?

Anonymous: What would you know about the little world I lived in? It's a pity that you're so superficial that you would proudly make such a remark. If to grow up is to be superficial i'd really rather not.
Keep your realistic world

Dear please leave your name too next time. Live up to your supposed maturity and 'consciousness' of reality, don't cower in cyberspace.