Can you imagine the pressure of having to live up to those standards?
Its enough to cook carbon into diamond. And gleam I will, sparkling in the limelight, in all my reflected glory. Either that or dull you with the flaky black of residual charcoal.

Oogieboogie. Oogieboogie. I think Tim Burton is a genius. Oogieboogie. Oogieboogie.
Alright enough randomnessness. Oogieboogie. Shit that word is quite addictive. Oogieboogie.
Does anyone have the melancholy death of oyster boy?

In the meantime, Tim will do lit essays for lunch this week. Is very poor and hungry. Unfortunately will only do one question once, i.e. repeated requests cannot be entertained due to time constraints. Quality of essays ensured. By hook or by crook. Money back guarantee. Call or messsage **MYNUMBER**.

Haha nah just joking. But I really am broke. Anyone wants to contribute to the Save Tim Fund?

OogieboogieOogieboogieOogieboogie Say it with me!

More things to kill hadri about. Abuse-buse. Shall add thatdown onto the list.

Anyway I'm really quite engaged now. I've just downloaded some program that acts like a DJ-turntable and now i'm trying to mix tracks which is really fun. As of yet I haven't been able to do anything more interesting other than blend one song into another (and even that it isn't exactly what I would call seamlessly), but really give me time.

If you're bored send me a playlist! I as of yet am too lazy to make a good selection of songs.

And yes if you must know, I was playing with TECHNO tracks. Everything else I have has nice conclusive endings anyway, its only the thumping dance tracks that need to be mixed and continued so that the beat goes on.

Da-thump Da-thump Da-thump.

Heh right then changwen. Firstly, I didn't deny you any valuable SHUT-EYE, and secondly I told you this over MSN so how can I have an excited and agitated tone. AND PLEASE LAH. I'm not jealous of max. I'll snuggle down by the fireside when I find the right person. YOU're just unhappy that only tacky sluts hit on you. LIKE YOU KNOW WHO.

Now anyway really, back to the topic at hand. I've practised alot of discretion already. I never said it was a guy, I never said which forum it was on. Your coming here and tagging all that nonsense only does further damage to your own reputation.

Furthermore, in posting online, you are openly acknowledging the fact that it is a PUBLIC forum, or in other simpler terms, open for everyone to see. Thus, as with any other forms of information or media on the internet, anyone is at liberty to quote anything. Don't want people to know, don't post. With your anonymous nick anyway I don't see why you should even bother reacting. Your tag has only provided information that I had chosen not to reveal at my discretion.

AND HADRI DON'T PRETEND YOU HAD NO HAND IN THIS.

Anyway today was really nice. Rooftop pizza with smriti hadri and matin. Saw a shooting star too. Two actually heh we were so excited. Should do things like that more often, very relaxing. Gets you away from the cutthroat business of JC life.

I thought I relived secondary school for a moment. With RI around me and the stars twinkling above.

yawnnn i'm tired frm stupid trng. tis will be my first post in very long. n its timmy which inspired me to waste my valuable shut-eye time for this. he suddenly came n told me in his highly agitated yet excited tone tt max's gay has replied on the tag board. which str8 guy gives so much of a damn abt some stupid gay tagging on your blog. NONE. however everyone knows timmy isn't str8, but that aside, i'm pretty convinced tim's just jealous that there aren't any guys hitting on him. after a whole year in whcih no guy wanted to dominate him, he's currently feeling pretty down and dejected. i suppose tt explains his mood when max's gay came to tag here. but its alright, we all know timmy will fnially find the right guy to settle down with, n snuggle beside the warm fireside.
tim you better not delete this.

Perhaps some things aren't entrenched in the past. Perhaps I can rectify them and blot out the ugly scars.
Its a new year. And a new beginning.

Somehow my mind's been brought back to the Jack Kerouac quote, the one about the ones who never say a commonplace thing.

Right then. Let's open with a cheerful rant.

Right then I resent being constantly evicted in my class. Everyone has a proper seat except for me! First I was sitting at the back then mel evicted me because I kept borrowing her pens. So I went next to chuin then she evicted me for burping and the booger incident. Then now uni says I have to sit one table away from her because she's heard of the horrible consequences of sitting next to me. So I was evicted back next to mel. And the cycle progresses.

HRMMPF.
Hahaha oh well. Have still been taking long walks home and talking to self. Realize that self makes alot of sense sometimes. Shit if this carries on I'll become schizophrenic and become a psycho killer when I grow up and murder firasandkeith first. Haha they say psychos always murder those people whom you know, starting from the earliest and progressing slowly downwards.

Bwahaha fear me. The evil serial killer of tomorrow.

I am different -
But then you already knew that.

I feel more interesting now. I think I shall continue this good habit of reading. I just finished lord-of-the-flies again, but of course my experience was different from the last time. There's finally food for thought to munch on while on the bus.

Anyway, is our personality shaped by the books we read and the music we listen to? Or does our personality choose what we enjoy and listen to? I think its the former, I've always believed that personality is nothing but a conglomerate of perspectives and mannerisms that one picks up as one goes through life.

Nothing I have is original after all. What is "uniquely mine" is simply a mesh of different tastes.

I've also developed a habit of conversing with myself lately. Heh this is really eccentric. Yeah but I write stuff to myself now, in the hope that I'll heed my own advice in the future. Its sad when you have to use time to detach yourself from your self. Its silly really, writing to myself in the hope that I'll find what I write as sagely anonymous advice. But well. These are the messes human beings are made of.

And yixun I object. My stupidity has not been blossoming of late without your erudite presence. Although it probably needs pruning.

Of little relevance:
The night is full of holes, there's bullets ripping skies of ink with gold.

Do anything you want.
Just feel for me.

beejezus i am up at 12:30 a m doing my homework 11C is not finished and there is still econs and history tutorial and other assorted nonsense that i probably have forgotten oh my god i am just so dead lah.

I hope reading that was half as tiring for you as i am feeling now.
Right then shall revert to normal english mode. With appropriate pauses and commas so you can take breaths.

People who come here are searching for "chonglin rjc" on google. Seeing how the only other hit was a GUY chonglin in CJ, I'm guessing that 4% of my latest readership consists of hot-blooded J1 males who are so desperate that they're searching for her blog in the hope that there'll be pictures.

I'm sorry to disappoint you. I can only offer a short rant about how my emotions imploded and died. Permanently.

Matin also showed me something rather interesting at Chang Wen's house earlier today. Or yesterday. Whatever. Anyway, haha I quote from an unspecified public forum.

"anyone knows max? j2 this year, in table-tennis...he is sho...cute! erm max, if u are here...pm me...wanna getta know you better! "

BWAHAHAHA. Pay me I give you his number. =)

I would like to apologize to you. You know who you are, when you read this in the semi-distant future and wonder what went wrong so many years ago.

Yes you. You the forever idealistic one who was still stuck in the world of the novel. I can sympathise with that kind of thinking even now. For you were brought up in the most sheltered of environments, and the only life lesson you have ever learned outside was to treasure and not betray your friends. And on that one fundamental building block, you built a castle of sticks made from the debris of the second little pig's house.

I would like to apologize for this: For not sticking up for you, for not helping you assert yourself when I hold you dearest to me. For allowing the waves to crash upon your fragile castle.

The only thing that can resist is an immovable piece of rock.

I owe you so much throughout these years. I should have taught you more about self-preservation, less about service. Perhaps the first few books I let you read shouldn't have been stories that extol the kind and generous. Then Enid Blyton wouldn't have been hardwired into your brain by this time.

I owe you your self-dignity. For I failed to teach you how to draw the line between generosity and submission. Firmly. I have left for you a most unstable character, based on that one building block that came crashing down from above.
The building block that shattered your tribal fence.

She warned you never to dispose of your friends, and made you pay dearly for your first offence.
At such an impressionable young age, the traumatic experience quashed your natural instincts and replaced it with this lie.

I understand now. There are only certain ones that are really worth going that extra mile for. I am sorry that I haven't been able to be one to you.

I hope you will forgive me in time to come. For demanding so much of you and allowing myself to get away with it. For not just overstepping the line, but doing a little clown jiggle on the other side, and establishing it as their territory.

But for now I hope you understand. You will have to live with my mistakes, for the scars embedded firmly in the past will continue to extend to the present, you cannot rub them out of existence with the sweep of your hand. They may continue to torment you on the outside, but take comfort that at least now you will never allow yourself to be hurt again. Let them be a grim reminder of the mistakes past.

Heh I have to record this down. It was just so hilarious at the time. Me and mel burst out laughing in maths lesson because of it.

Okay setting is the A01D Classroom. Lesson is the dreaded C Maths. Tutor: Koh Siew Yong.
So me puss and mel were sitting behind pretending to do our tutorials. Then puss decided to draw an angel, but he couldn't draw the face so he decided to draw it facing into the paper, and with the long hair. So I commented it looked like The Ring, and we burst out laughing, then miss koh came over.

KSY: Xinghui what are you doing
Puss: Nothing ma'am. Doing question 3.

So KSY turns around, to help someone else with maths
Puss draws little "Zzzzz"s above the angel

Puss: Look Tim the angel's sleeping!
KSY: Xinghui WHAT are you doinggggg?

hahahahahaha. oh my god puss is so adorable.

I was looking through some of the nonsense I had in my musty old CD drawer. I haven't bought a CD since god knows when, I think primary school. So I was sieving through junk like Backstreet Boys: Millenium and other assorted nonsense when I came upon a rather garish CD case. It was Aqua. Heh so I put it into my player. The results were shocking.

I like Aqua. This is probably the worst yet in my series of confessions about music tastes, but really I do. Its not just the techno electronic beats. Its interesting how barbie girl can be so childish and so sinister at the same time, and scary that I find it poignant. And when I remembered the lead singer died of drug overdose it was just so sad [for current lack of better word due to lousy vocab]. The fairytale she hoped and sung for never came true.

Why this sudden rush of pathos?

Yay I've changed music. To Yellowcard - Only One
I like the way they put strings in their music. mm.

I need to break free. If only I could get what I wanted with the snap of a finger. If only it were all that easy, and the world would change for me.

Ah well. See you all on Monday.

What happens when the curtain calls?

In Other News:

I lost Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit in church. Because some woman wagged her finger at me for using my handphone and I got so agitated I could only bitch about it to my mother for the whole mass. And promptly left the book on the hymn-shelf at the pews.

I have a new CT that keeps asking me to tuck in my shirt. And talks like a pansy. Coming from me that's rich.

Also have failed to be good boy. Because got caught ponning GP to watch storyline which after the whole ordeal seemed like a very stupid transaction.

Painted Changwen's room. Is nice shade of adzfar's-grad-suit red on one wall and light-blue on the other. I leave you to form an impression.

Have made bet with mel. Am not allowed to pon anything, or will incur one demerit point. Whoever has more at the end of the month must treat the other. Score currently stands at 1-1. But I predict mel will forget her econs tutorial tmrw. hee hee.

Shall become busy doing econs tutorial now. Must get one up on her.

Life in plastic
Its fantastic!

I think I shall write a story. When I have time. Its been a while since I've conjured up a plot from no where, and it'd be interesting to see how far my ability to create characters has deteriorated.

Hi look at me I'm rotting away at home.

Okay stop. New year, new material. Whining is so old and last-century.

Anyway my space bar is deteriorating.
Things to do this year are namely to study hard and get life. Seeing how I have absolutely zero on new year's day.
Must also try to dirty new shoes enough so they don't look like clown-red when i go to school tmrw. Suspect self will get laughed at anyway.
Really it didn't look that red in the shop. And it was quite popular most of the shops I went to say sold out already. -sigh-