its wierd. i waslooking arnd at people's blogs. and of course talking to my friends.
We're not the only ones who suddenly feel so tired of life.
So tired of going to school. You know, i miss that feeling. When I used to like going to school. To see my friends, classmates, people i care about and i know care about me. I used to look forward, to anticipate something, that there would always be something new in store the next day. And its only now that i realise how thankful i am for that.

Everything just seems to have no point now.

No. point. All we're doing is the same as everyone. There's no purpose. We can't look forward anymore. Our goals are pointless, because they don't mean anything when we're done. We can't even measure up to silas, who weaves so that he can look forward to counting his gold, because we haven't anything to look forward to. The days keep ticking by now. And they are just that. 24 hours, 60 minutes, nothing but measurements of time, concepts we invent so that we can measure how much of our life we have gotten through.

Now its a battle between good and evil to drag ourselves to school.

(I don't know why i'm using "we".)

Exams even used to have a certain allure. even lessons. I'd look forward to rosie's lesson, even if it wasjust to see who she'd blow up at next. And that was refreshing. because rosie is direct. and what she says is what she thinks. might not be what she means in the long run, but it certainly is what she's thinking at that time. Its a refreshing breath of truth. Although it does sting sometimes.

The world's a big paradox. You can't be a bitch even if you are. And if you try not be a bitch you're a hypocrite. You interpret this as that, that as this, and get it all wrong. Because you'd never know if someone is just "being nice".

How often have we thought to have found someone
Only to find out that you're a flaw to her?

No wonder the pangs of loneliness. We all hunger for someone who isn't acting. Who genuinely likes us for who we are. Accepts our flaws and strengths. Someone we know isn't being politely cordial. Someone whom with we can truly be ourselves. And still be accepted. And it is only through rosie's kind of frankness can we see them.

But how do you truly be yourself when no one ever is? How do you open up with the fear of ridicule. How do you expose your flaws and still be accepted?

We're all fake. its just how well we do it.

One wrong move and its all over.

Is it really no wonder?
No wonder that we're tired of life as we know it?
This isn't how we were meant to live. We weren't supposed to put on smiles and faces for others.

We were meant to live for so much more.

okay that last line was cheesy. but its 1 am and there maths tmrw.