Save me from what I've become.
And other assorted cliches.

Had chat with veluri yesterday. Am quite thankful it wasn't naggy scolding. Nothing I don't already know I guess, but its good to be reminded once in a while. I've always needed to be pushed out of subsistence.

I had an idea for a post but somehow it got washed away in the endless meanderings of my mind. Oh-wells.

I think I just wanted to say how lost I am. I haven't ever opened up fully and I never will, because I don't know who to trust. I'm not as gullible as I appear, given time. I feel like I need to watch everyone all the time. I'm thankful for that sturdy base which I know I can always fall back on. And I'm sorry if it appears to be the part i trample on the most while aspiring higher.

Its oppressive this silence. You all. Are.

Its a pity that the common thread that connects us is precisely what I would not have applied to myself. I have only myself to blame, skirting around the edge only to have fallen in to the mindless pit of superficiality.

I need to find my wavelength. Before I scramble up my brain. Before your silence consumes me into mediocrity.

It isn't true that no one understands. We just need to appreciate the different levels.