maybe i din mean all of what i said just now
but hell. i tink it'll serve to capture how fedup i was wif my father. thats what a blog/diary is for after all.
i'm tired. i don't know whats wrong with me now. i'm just tired and lonely. maybe cos i'm jealous i guess. haha i see how people seem to have such good friends, tt write such nice stuff for them on their b'daes, and i'm depressed cos i don't think i have anyone who's that close to me. i need good friends. really good friends i can talk to and confide in.
but there aren't many who understand me... not many i can open my mind to. and say whatever i really feel and want. in fact, none. Noone bothers when my b'dae is. Well thats oso probably cos my b'dae falls on lousy days for the past 2 yrs. But noone really listens when i'm hurt, noone understands me well enough to know when i need to talk. i've got fun friends, but none really care about who i am or what goes on in that space between my ears. these pangs of loneliness hurt sometimes. Its funny how someone like me can be lonely sometimes. I always tot myself as having many friends. Or so i tot. i like what's on yixun's blog, it reflects my desperate plea now.

~think of me in my time of pain~