zach just told me tt i shld stop letting people bully me like this. Its the third time someone told me that this WEEK.
He's right. everyone who's told me this in one form or another's right.
Its not really the fault of people who take advantage of me. I guess i just let myself be taken advantage of. I don't know why i do it... maybe its because i'm too weak to standup for myself? Too afraid to cause trouble, initiate conflict, because i'll probably lose out in one.
Maybe its the simple naive belief that if i help people people will help me back in return. Which really isn't always the case, i know. But some part of me refuses to giveup the hope that all people are nice people.
But its most probably because i've fallen into such a state that i've become incapable of resisting. Or that noone really takes me seriously when i do. Lost of dignity and pride, nothing to vent the void.
Don't get me wrong, there's alot that these same people who sometimes take advantage of me have done for me. I'm not THAT stupid as to let people whom i don't bother about use me. But sometimes it can get a little too much, and i wonder about the validity of "helping in return for a future favour". Thats what i used to think.
Am I giving up too much?
But what can i do, when no one's there to pull me up.