You know, they had it right in the time of sorcery.

Pissed off? Conjure up a fireball and incinerate those irritants! Bored with life? Go slay a dragon! Adolescent problems? Go jousting or save a damsel in distress!

This is the appeal of the online MMORPG. It is the chance to create a life, and solve all its problems with a set of ready-made solutions. All through the reflective monitor screen.

Oh, if only I had the power to conjure fireballs. Or rise from the dead like Lady Lazarus -

And I eat men like air.

Mm. Yummy. *burp*